What happens when you beat a game? What happens when you come to the end of the road? What do you do when right ahead of you is nothing but the unknown? What do you do when you don’t think you’re strong or brave or good enough to journey forward? What happens when you don’t have a choice?
This story starts on Friday, when I was asked by some Guildies if I wanted to do Dragon Soul. Not LFR. DS 10. And I was asked to heal. Needless to say, I was hesitant. Yet I agreed to do it.
Agreeing to do so at work perhaps was not the wisest choice. On top of work related things and personal things, I was now wrought with gaming things. I did not know any of the strategies on normal, just LFR. I did not have the gear to heal, let alone any practice with it within the past year. I thought I was over my head.
I am in over my head sometimes. At least I think I am. If you didn’t know, there’s a lot of things going on in my life, some I’ve discussed, some I have not. What’s said is said and I won’t rehash it, but I did want to point out that many readers reached out to me by what I had written, and for that, I am truly touched, thankful, and grateful. My point is that I wonder if I’m taking on too much, and if I can even handle what things I have laid out in front of me.
Yet there is this desire within me, one that I haven’t felt in years, to push the envelope, to be outside of character as it were. Trying new things, meeting new people, forcing new attitudes, and trying to have a more positive outlook, despite what my feelings are and what my brain is trying to feed me. I mean, I went to a local gaming shop to look into Magic tournaments. That’s something I haven’t thought about in over a decade, since I was in high school.
There comes a time for all of us, where we are faced with the unknown, and I chose to take it on Friday, in the form of an internet dragon. I died on Zon’ozz for some reason. I think it was the black ball thingy. Other than that, I was told I did fine. I was told my DPS was adequate on two fights that I DPS’ed, and my healing was good on the fights I healed. More importantly, no wipes and we had fun.
I got “Destroyer’s End” on Exlucis, my main. I’ve been playing since 2 weeks before Burning Crusade launched. I have never defeated an end game boss, let alone while they were current. Saturday night, I did. It was exhilarating, inspiring, and fun. It was the end of the game, so to speak. I mean, sure, I could do heroic modes, but that’s not really my cup of tea. I mean, sure I’ll try them, but I was content with LFR, and now that I have an end game title, I’m kind of at an other crossroads.
Then what? What do I do? I can level an alt, which I am doing. I can make an other Exlucis on Horde side, since I loved it so much over there. I can work on my League skills some more. I can work on new hobbies, like taking pictures and Tumblr-ing them. I can do a lot of things.
There’s no right or wrong answer here. I can literally do whatever I like, within reason. This extends into real life as well. I’m at a point in my life where I will be facing some tough challenges, and there may be some wipes, but one way or an other I will soon be done with my challenge. I may obtain a title, I may not. But once I’m done, I’ll be faced with a similar crossroad. What will I do?
Time and time alone will reveal the roads that will open when I’m done with this challenge. I’m sure to have setbacks. I’m sure to have depression bouts and anxiety attacks. However, if days like Friday are any indication, those things can evaporate. Even if for just a moment, I can move beyond life’s many obstacles, as well as my own struggles. I can take down a dragon, earn a title, and wonder what’s next.
This is probably not up to my normal standards, but it’s late and I really wanted to get this out. Day by day, little by little, I move on. I know that for sure. And again, thanks to the support of my readers, followers, guildies, and friends, for helping me move on to the next “what’s next” of my life, whatever that may be.